6 signs you are a people pleaser (and what to do about it)

Being a people pleaser is nothing to be proud of. Quite frankly it stops you from being yourself and reaching your highest potential. And right now people think we are always available because they can reach out via email, direct messages on socials and due to the Global pandemic most of people are working from home so people feel they can call you at any time.

How do you know you are a people pleaser? Here are the signs:
1. Your diary is packed with events that you don't want to attend 
A good test is to check your diary. How many appointments do you have that you are now dreading because you said yes just to be polite? 

2. You say sorry a lot 
If you are constantly apologising about something, the cause could be a deeper issue. People who often apologise are almost apologising to even be in the room. This is how people see it. 

3. You cannot say no
It is sometimes difficult to say no to a loved one and we all occasionally say yes because we don't want to hurt our lovely grandma but if you feel an excruciating feeling when you truly want to say no, you might be suffering from the people-pleasing curse. 

4. You live for the praise of others
You say and do things to please people in exchange for a "wow you are amazing". 

5. You hate conflicts 
Who does like conflict? But healthy relationships need conflict to resolve issues or one party will hold a lot of resentment. A people pleaser will never express their feelings for fear of hurting the other person.
 
6. You become like the people you are hanging out with 
If you catch yourself agreeing with everyone all the time you might be a people pleaser. It is impossible to agree with everyone all the time without compromising your own set of values.
 
What can you do to be less of a people pleaser?
I have two clients that struggled with this and my tips worked wonders.

You need to start giving yourself small challenges. For instance, try to say no to a drink you would rather not go to without making a long list of fake excuses. No is a full sentence! No need for justifications. Then try to assert your opinion about a topic you are interested in. 

Each time you do this you will gain a little confidence to say no. The rewards are immense! You will save so much time and start focusing on smashing your goals. Don't worry about what people will think. This is an excellent way to find out who your real friends were all along.