Dealing with the pressure to perform
This article is inspired by a conversation I had with a dear friend. We discussed the pressure to perform at all times which was leading us to feel completely overwhelmed. Can you imagine? You can barely wake up and find the energy to wash your face and your friend Jenny seems to have tackled 10 items from her to-do list by 11am.
So here is how I deal with the pressure to perform:
1. Breathe
I am ashamed to admit that I used to laugh at people learning how to breathe. I was shocked! I thought: "What's next? Learn how to blink classes?" It is not until I completed a short course at RADA (Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts) where the course leader taught us how to breathe properly that I realised how wrong I was. It was a real “aha” moment and I have used the techniques every day since. The performance aspect aside, learning to breathe properly will also help you deal with feeling overwhelmed. Focusing on your technique will take your mind off what is troubling you as well as reducing your pulse so you will be able to see the issue more clearly afterwards.
If you are interested in reading about the RADA technique please check out Jenny's instructions or you can start with this simple exercise recommended by the NHS to alleviate anxiety/overwhelm by breathing in gently and regularly. Some people find it helpful to count steadily from 1 to 5 (you may not be able to reach 5 at first but that's ok). Then, without pausing or holding your breath, let it flow out gently, counting from 1 to 5 again (if you find this helpful). Keep doing this for 3 to 5 minutes.
2. Forget perfection
“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good” John Steinbeck
I absolutely live by this quote. Trying to keep up with the Jones' will take you where? Nowhere. It will take you straight to burn out. So if the people you follow on social media seem to be doing so many things, just mute them if you cannot remind yourself that you will never know what really happens behind the scenes.
3. Embrace procrastination
You can believe the nonsense people write about working a 12 hour day but that’s not how our brain functions. If you try to work hard for hours, you will procrastinate so there is no way those 12 hours are productive. Some research argues that procrastinating is your brain telling you: “That’s it! I need a break to recharge.” So you can sit in front of your computer for hours pretending to work or you could go for a walk, take a nap, make a cup of tea, or read a few pages of a book. Your brain will appreciate the break and you will come back more focussed and productive.
4. Stop the comparison game
There are no benefits in comparing yourself with others. You know it, I know it, we all know it but yet we still do it. We need to be careful especially now that we spend so much time online. When you see someone doing something great online what you don't see is the behind the scenes. They may have hustled for many years just to get a little bit of recognition. Or they could have had significant help. Or they could have been in tears just before posting that picture - we will never know. But what I do know is life isn't always as rosy as many people try and portray. If you compare yourself to this manufactured image it will never be a fair comparison.
5. Be your own dear friend
Last but not least, would you tell a dear friend: “Come on, why are you not waking up you lazy ass? You should have been running hours ago.” Of course not and if you do then your friends are very forgiving people! If we wouldn't tell our friends this then why would we say it to ourselves? Try this simple exercise - set a timer for every 30 minutes and write down what you are telling yourself at that time. When you go back at review your day ask yourself if your internal dialogue is helping you succeed or holding you back. It may very well be adding to your feelings of overwhelm. It will be easier to recognise these thoughts and challenge them in the future.
I hope you find these tips useful and can put the pressure to perform behind you. Remember, we are humans not robots so give yourself a break.