How to deal with discrimination at work
I once worked as a waitress in a London member’s club in my early twenties. Around 6pm one evening I was just starting my shift and I was chatting to my co-worker about her weekend.
Somehow, we ended up talking about our wage (a hot topic amongst hospitality workers) and she told me how much she was making.
She would never have believed that she was getting paid much more than me, especially since I was the one who trained her when she first started!
I was in utter shock. It felt like I had a knife through my heart (or maybe it was in the back). No matter how much we like to think money doesn’t matter, we still see our wage as an indicator as to how our contribution is being valued. I couldn’t carry on working, the unfairness was too great for me to bear, and I confronted my boss at the next opportunity.
What should you do if you find yourself in a similar situation?
1. Confront your boss
Do what I did and ask your boss a direct question like I did e.g. “Hi Thomas, is Jenny getting paid more than me? Why?” Say it with conviction; don’t leave any doubt that you know “Jenny” is getting paid more than you. This is no time for speculation. Then enjoy watching their face decompose slowly.
When I confronted my boss, I really thought he would at least come up with some BS. Nope. He remained silent and just stared at me – he had no idea what to do. If you could carry on under these circumstances then you are much more forgiving than me. I just couldn’t. The trust was broken, and I wanted to leave as soon as possible, but not without making some noise first.
2. Don’t go to HR: they work for your boss, not you
I am sure I will offend many people, but I stand by this statement 100%: it is extremely rare to have someone in HR who is on your side. Why? Because they get paid by the same boss who discriminated against you. I have always thought that the system of HR was the biggest joke ever created. A parody of the democratic process within a company. You might know one amazing person working in HR, but he/she will have no power to help you when you need them.
3. Know your rights!
The law is free for anyone to access (check out www.gov.uk). The law of discrimination can be complex and have a few intricacies but you need to have at least a general idea of your rights to make sure you get them.
For instance, if you fall under one of the “protected characteristics” (e.g. race, age, religion, pregnant to name a few) and you do the same job at the same time at the same place as your co-worker but they get paid more: you are victim of direct discrimination. You can also be indirectly discriminated against which is harder to prove but is just as vicious.
4. Shame them
Being silent is being complicit. Others need to know what goes on behind the closed doors at that company. Discrimination is never acceptable and we should all stand up against it. You don’t need to go to the extreme and post your story all over social media, but don’t be afraid to share your story, you may save someone a lot of trouble.
Discrimination at work can come in many forms and you should never hesitate to confront it. I think the way forward is for us employees to openly discuss how much we are getting paid and not see it as rude. Transparency is the key because how can you fight something you don’t know.